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Yoga Jokes

Yoga Jokes

A great collection of Yoga Jokes you could ever find on the internet. Feel free to share these jokes about yoga with your friends and family.

Yoga Meditation Jokes & Quotes

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Q: How many contemplative monks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the light bulb. One to not change the light bulb. One to neither change nor not change the light bulb

Q: What do Yoga meditation and a fudge cake have in common?
A: They each bring you a piece or peace of heaven.

Q: How many Iyengar students does it take to changes a light bulb?
A: Only one, but she’ll need four blankets, a chair, six blocks, and two straps.

Knock knock! Who’s there?
Yoga
Yoga who?
Yoga to try this, it feels amazing!

Two yogis walked into a bar. The third one used it to deepen their practice.

My wife claims to be good at yoga, but I think she’s a poser.

Your pants say yoga, but your butt says McDonalds.

Yoga pants with no butt, is like a wallet with no money.

After my first week of yoga classes, I’m still inflexible, but I’ve really improved my ability to hold in farts for long periods of time.

I tried yoga, but found it a bit of a stretch.

Q: What did the yogi say when his student asked him what he wanted for his birthday?
A: I wish no gifts, only presence

Q: What did the Yogi say to the criminal?
A: You have the right to remain silent!

Q: Why didn’t the yogi buy the vacuum cleaner?
A: It came with too many attachments!

Q: What did the yogi tell his restless student?
A: Don’t just do something – Sit there!

Q: What did the yogi say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything!

Q: How did the yoga teacher accidentally kill his pet?
A: His karma ran over his dogma

Q. What did the sign in the window of the yoga master searching for a new disciple say?
A. Inquire within!

Q. Why did the yogi refuse anesthesia when having his wisdom teeth removed?
A. He wanted to transcend-dental-medication!

Q: What did the yogi say to his dog?
A: Nama, stay!

Q: How many Bikram teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to preheat the new bulb, one to screw it in and one to remind the light bulb changer to “Lockyourknees, Lockyourknees!”

Q: What does a dyslexic cow say?
A: Oooommmm

Q: What’s the hardest yoga pose to master?
A: Corpse Pose. You only get it right once.

Q: What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants?
A: Over-ex-posers

Q: What kind of yoga do you do in a casket?
A: Decom-pose

Q: What’s the most romantic kind of yoga position a man can do?
A: Pro-pose

Q: What was the woman angry after her yoga class?
A: She was bent out of shape.

Q: What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class?
A: I don’t know, but there’s probably a hipster close by.

Q: What do Yoga meditation and an apple peeler have in common?
A: They both take you to the core.