Pick Up Lines

Dirty and Creepy Pick Up Lines

Dirty and Creepy Pick Up Lines Pictures

Do you reside on a craven farm? ‘Cause you abiding apperceive how to accession a cock.

Are you a assignment sergeant? Because you accept my genitalia continuing at attention.

You’re just like my little toe, because I’m traveling to blast you on every section of appliance in my home.

Do you mix accurate for a living? Because you’re authoritative me hard.

If you’re activity down, I can feel you up.

My dick just died. Would you apperception if I active it in your ass?

Are your legs fabricated of Nutella? Because I’d adulation to advance them!

There will alone be 7 planets larboard afterwards I abort Uranus.

I’m no acclimate man, but you can apprehend added than a few inches tonight.

Do you plan at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.

I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.

That shirt’s actual acceptable on you. If I were on you, I’d be advancing too.

Do you plan for UPS? I could accept affidavit I saw you blockage out my package.

I achievement you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my assurance beyond your face tonight.

I anticipate it’s time I acquaint you what humans are adage abaft your back… “Nice ass!”

I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still ample your able in.

Do you apperceive the aberration amid my dick and a craven wing? No? Well, let’s go on a barbecue and acquisition out!

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play gynecologist.

Are you a termite? Could could could could could cause you’re about to accept a aperture abounding of wood.

Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I anticipate of it my basics bind up.

Excuse me, but would you like an orally angry orgasm?

Do you run track? Could could could could could cause I heard you Relay ambition this dick.

Are you from the ghetto? Could could could could could cause I’m about to ghetto authority of dat ass.

You apperceive what I like in a girl? My dick.

Are you a doctor? could could could could could cause you just convalescent my arrect dysfunction.

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie – I wanna breach them and eat all the acceptable being in the middle.

Have you anytime kissed a aerial amid the ears? [Pull your pockets central out] Would you like to?

I absent my virginity. Can I accept yours?

Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? [No] What’s wrong, don’t you like pizza?

Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.

Someone exhaustion my lap, I anticipate this bairn needs a apple-pie abode to sit.

If I could adapt the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ amid ‘F’ and ‘CK’ F**k me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Laura?

Hey Baby! I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

You ability not be the best searching bairn here, but adorableness is alone a ablaze about-face away.

Are you from Iraq? ‘Cause I like the way you Baghdad ass up.

Your breasts admonish me of Arise Rushmore – my face should be a part of them.

Hey baby, I anticipate you just fabricated my two by four into a four by eight.

Is that a keg in your pants? Because I’d adulation to tap that ass.

Hey cutie, wanna go behindhand on a baby?

You can alarm me cake, could could could could could cause I’ll go beeline to your ass.

Are you hungry? Could could could could could cause omelette you blot this dick.

Do you like pudding? Could could could could could cause I’ll be pudding this dick in your ass.

Can I apprehend your bodice in braille?

Do you accept an inhaler? Because you’ve got ass ma.

Do you smoke pot? Because edger be admirable calm

Are you my homework? Could could could could could cause I’m not accomplishing you but I in fact should be.

Roses are red, violets are fine. If I be the 6, will you be the 9?

Do you go to abbey often? Could could could could could cause you’re gonna be on your knees tonight.

Do you apperceive your ABC’s? Could could could could could cause I wanna accord you the 4th letter of the alphabet.

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a cartilage for you to examine.

I’ll accord you a nickel if you amuse my pickle.

You are so selfish! You’re traveling to accept that physique the draft of your activity and I just ambition it for one night.

Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.

What’s the acceleration absolute of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU accept to about-face around!

I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to analyze Uranus.

I’m like a Rubik’s Cube, the added you play with me the harder I get!

What’s the aberration amid a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t accept a Ferrari.

Hi, do you ambition to accept my children? [No] OK, can we just convenance then?

I’m abashed of the dark… Will you beddy-bye with me tonight?

I adulation my bed but I’d rather be in yours.

Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I acquisition ’em hot and leave ’em wet!

I spent over a admirable on Viagra today, alone to appear actuality and see you and acquisition out that I don’t charge it afterwards all.

Brrr! My easily are cold. Can I balmy them in your bouncing breasts?

I’m afraid like a tic tac. Wanna activate your breath?

Do you appear actuality generally or delay till you get home?

Do you accept a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.

Do you ablution your panties with Windex? Because I can in fact see myself in them.

Do you charge a stud in your life? Could could could could could cause I got the STD and all I charge is U.

Why pay for a bra, if I would acquiescently authority your boobs up all day for free?

You that appears to that appears to smell like trash. May I yield you out?

If I had AIDS, would you accept sex with me? [No] Well, I don’t, so let’s go.

Excuse me, but do you accord arch to strangers? [No] Able-bodied then, acquiesce me to acquaint myself.

I wanna accessory with your pubic hair.

I ambition to cook in your mouth, not in your hand.

If your appropriate leg was Christmas and your larboard leg was Easter, would you let me appear for banquet amid the holidays?

That dress looks abundant on you…as a amount of fact, so would I.

So, appear aback to my place, and if you don’t like it I affirm I’ll accord you a abounding refund.

Miss, If you’ve absent your virginity, can I accept the box it came in?

Let’s accept a affair and allure your pants to appear on down.

Do you accept any Italian in you? Would you like some?

Hey baby, let’s play house, you can be the aperture and I’ll bang you all night long!

Hi, my name is “Milk.” I’ll do your physique good.

I anticipate I could abatement absurdly in bed with you.

Let’s play carpenter. Aboriginal we’ll get hammered, again I’ll attach you.

We’re like hot amber and marshmallows… You’re hot and I wanna be on top of you.

Wanna go on an ‘ate’ with me? I’ll accord you the ‘D’ later.

You’re so hot, even my pants are falling for you!

Are you from the Philippines? Because I wanna phil you with my penis.

Do you like Ramen Noodles? Cuz I’ll be Rammin’ my brainstorm in you later.

Are you spaghetti could could could could could cause I ambition you to meat my balls.

Do you like whales? Could could could could could cause we can go bulge aback at my place.

Baby I endure best than a white crayon.

Do you like to draw? Could could could could could cause I put the D in Raw.

We should play band poker. You can strip, and I’ll draft you.

You admonish me of the cine “Scarface” could could could could could cause I ambition you to say accost to my little friend.

Do you like Adele? Could could could could could cause I can acquaint you wanna be rolling in the D.

Girl, you should advertise hotdogs, because you already apperceive how to accomplish a wiener stand.

I had a wet dream about you endure night. Would you like to accomplish it a reality?

“Do you like cherries?” [No.] “Ok, can I accept yours?”

Do you apperceive what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.

Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down appropriate there and I’ll bandy you my meat.

[Excuse me, do you accept the time?] “Yes, do you accept the energy?”

At the appointment archetype apparatus “Reproducing eh?” “Can I help?”

Do you accept a buzz in your aback pocket? Because your anatomy is calling me.

(Use basis feel to alarm anyone over again say) I fabricated you appear with one finger, brainstorm what I could do with my accomplished hand.

Hi, wanna f**k? [No] Apperception lying down while I do?

I apperceive a abundant way to bake off the calories in that pastry you just ate.

I absence my teddy bear. Would you beddy-bye with me?

Is your name daisy? Because I accept a abrupt appetite to bulb you appropriate here!

Does your ass accept Allstate insurance? [No, why?] Able-bodied do you ambition it to be in acceptable hands?

Let me admit my bung into your atrium and we can accomplish some electricity.

You accept been actual naughty. Go to my room!

Do you like Wendy’s? Could could could could could cause you’re gonna adulation Wendy’s basics bang yo face!

Don’t anytime change. Just get naked.

Are those jeans Guess? Could could could could could cause assumption who wants to be central them…

Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I accept 18 hours left.

I accept to belch some seminal fluid. May I use your body?

Hold out two fingers and say: “Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?” (I don’t know.) “‘Cause they’re abundance sweetheart.”

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and bare a name to go with the face.

I would in fact adulation to bandy actual fluids with you.

Let’s go to my abode and do the things I’ll acquaint anybody we did anyway.

I’m gonna accept sex with you tonight so, you ability as able-bodied be there.

I’m not Asian but I’ll still eat your cat.

Are you the action adult on TV, because I’m picturing you captivation up my balls.

Damn bairn I’d adulation to kiss those beautiful, adorable lips. And the ones on your face.

I accept a job for you, but it blows!

Do you accept a shovel? Could could could could could cause I’m diggin’ that ass!

The things I would do if I got a few roofies in you.

Damn, are you my new boss, because you just gave me a raise.

You’re so hot you could accomplish a asleep man’s dick acceleration from the dead!

As continued as I accept a face, you’ll accept a abode to sit.

You accept to be yogurt because I ambition to beanery you.

Do you like tapes and CD’s? Could could could could could cause I’m gonna band this dick to your forehead so you CD’s nuts.

Do you plan at the copse store? Could could could could could cause I could’ve affidavit you gave me copse before.

Do you like soda? Because I’d mount-and-do you. (Mountain Dew)

Is it hot in here, or are your boobs just huge.

I’m peanut butter, you’re jelly, let’s accept sex.

If it’s accurate that we are what we eat, again I could be you by tomorrow morning.

Remember my name, because you’ll be agreeable it later!

Nice shoes, wanna f**k?

Nice socks. Can I try them on afterwards we accept sex?

Nice tits. Apperception if I clasp them?

Oh, you’re a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you yield this for a swallow?

Are you an elevator? Could could could could could cause I wanna go down on you.

Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a austere cartilage action

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be advancing soon.

Do you like jalapeños? Could could could could could cause in a minute I’ll be jalapeño pussy.

Are you a shark? Could could could could could cause I’ve got some swimmers for you to swallow.

Are you jewish? Could could could could could cause the way you’re searching at me, I’m alpha to anticipate Jewish this dick was in your mouth.

Do you plan for Papa Johns? Could could could could could cause you’re a accomplished pizza ass.

Girl are you a witch? Could could could could could cause you apperceive how to accomplish something angle afterwards even affecting it

Are you from China? Could could could could could cause I’m China get in your pants.

Do you like Pizza Hut? Could could could could could cause I’ll being your crust.

Since we’ve been told to abate decay these days, what you say we use these condoms in my abridged afore they expire.

[Take an ice cube to the bar, accident it, and say] “Now that I’ve torn the ice, will you beddy-bye with me?”

The alone acumen I would bang you out of bed would be to f**k you on the floor.

The chat of the day is “legs.” Let’s go aback to my abode and advance the word.

We’re traveling to ball to one song, again go aback to my accommodation and f**k.

What can I do to accomplish you beddy-bye with me?

Let’s go aback to my allowance and do some math: Add a bed, decrease our clothes, bisect your legs, and multiply.

I ambition you were a awning door, so I could bang you all day long!

Do you like yoga? Could could could could could cause Yoganna adulation this dick.

Your abode or mine? Acquaint you what? I’ll cast a coin. Arch at my place, appendage at yours.

I’d like to get amid your legs and eat my way beeline to your heart…

Hey! Wanna play war? I’ll lay on the arena and you draft the f**k outta me!

If we were both squirrels, would you let me apprehension a nut in your hole?

My dick’s been activity a little asleep lately. Wanna accord it some mouth-to-mouth?

If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you f**k me? [No] Good, because abundance is 8 inches.

Do you like apples? [Yes/No] How about I yield you home and f**k the sh*t out of you. How do like them apples?

Do you like jewels? [Yes/No] well, blot my dick, it’s a gem.

They say sex is a killer… Do you ambition to die happy?

First, I’d like to kiss you foolishly on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your abdomen button.

Your aperture are kinda wrinkled. Apperception if I columnist them?

I accept a big headache. I apprehend the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go admiral and plan out a remedy.

So, Is it safe to say I’m gonna score?

I just arrested my agenda and I can accept you abundant by Christmas.

I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t appear in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

Do you like my belt buckle? (any acknowledgment is accept ) It would attending bigger adjoin your forehead!

Do you wanna appear to the Marines, or would your rather accept a Marine appear into you?

Are you gay? [No] Wow, me neither, let’s accept sex.

If I done my dick, would you blot it? [No] Oh, so you like to blot bedraggled dicks.

Nice f**king weather. Ambition to?

That accouterments would attending abundant in a channelled abundance next to my bed.

We’re out of bleach. Do you ambition to go in the janitor’s closet and accomplish out?

There are 206 basic in the animal body. How would you like one more?

Those are nice jeans, do you anticipate I could get in them?

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I assumption how abundant you weigh.

What do you like for breakfast?

Which is easier? You accepting into those bound pants or accepting you out of them?

Why don’t you appear over here, sit on my lap and we’ll allocution about the aboriginal affair that ancestor up?

Why don’t you abruptness your acquaintance and not appear home tonight?

You accept some nice jewelry. It would attending abundant on my nightstand.

Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.

You admonish me of a championship bass, I don’t apperceive whether to arise you or eat you.

Hey baby, as continued as I accept a face, you’ll accept a abode to sit.

Hey babyish there’s a affair in my pants and you are invited!

Can I airing through your bushes and ascend your mountains?

Hey I’m searching for treasure, Can I attending about your chest?

I’m a freelance gynecologist. How continued has it been aback your endure checkup?

Do you yield Visa?

Excuse me, I just bits in my pants. Can I get in yours?

You are the acumen that god invented boners.

With abundant penis, comes abundant responsibility.

If I cast a coin, what are my affairs of accepting head?

If you’re activity down, I can feel you up.

There are so abounding things you can do with the animal mouth… why decay it on talking?

How do you like your eggs? Poached, accolade or fertilized?

You smell… We should go yield a battery together.

Would you like a alarm to go with those buns?

You’re like my own claimed cast of heroin.

This may assume corny, but you accomplish me in fact horny.

I’m a burglar and I’m gonna accident your backdoor in.

Do you wanna do something that rhymes with ‘Truck’?

I accept a attenuate ache that will annihilate me unless I accept sex aural the next 30 minutes.

Don’t let me die! I bet my argot can exhausted up your tongue.

Yeah, it’s big and if you pet it, it spits

Let us let alone acrylic angle amid our love.

Do you wanna see why my appellation is ‘tri-pod’?

There are affluence of angle in the sea, but you’re the alone one I’d like to bolt and arise aback at my place.

I heard your ankles were accepting a party… ambition to allure your pants down?

Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it!

You accompany a accomplished new acceptation to the word, “edible.”

I don’t apperceive what you anticipate of me, but I achievement it’s X-rated.

Want to play bobcat tamer? You could get on all fours and I’ll put my arch in your mouth.

If I was a watermelon, would you discharge or absorb my seed?

Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven’t got any, how about a cock?

I anticipate that we ability be related. Let me analysis for the ancestors birthmark on your chest.

Are you from Ireland? ‘Cuz my dick’s-a-Dublin! [Look down at your crotch]

It’s not just traveling to blot itself.

I’m a writer, you’re a writer, how about we get naked calm and put some balladry in motion?

Are you from Africa? Could could could could could cause I wanna apperceive Kenya blot this dick?

[Hold up a screw] Wanna screw?

Do you ambition to appear over to my abode and augment your aholic some wood?

[What are you doing?] I’m demography off my shoes. [Why?] So I can yield off my pants.

How about you be my adventure and I’ll be your climax!

“I accept this abracadabra watch that can in fact allocution to me. Seriously, it’s adage something appropriate now. It says that you’re not cutting any underwear, is that true?.” [No.] “Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast!

Is your name Dora? Could could could could could cause I’ll let you analyze this dick.

I like your hair, your eyes, your smile… I like every cartilage in your body… Especially mine!

Do you beddy-bye on your stomach? [No] Can I?

Lets play “Titanic.” If I say “Iceburg!” you do down.

Do you accept guys anticipate with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you draft my mind?

Smile. It is the additional best affair you can do with your lips.

Don’t you anticipate a lot of humans who use analeptic curve are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, apperception if I analysis your oil level?

Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.

Would you like to actively appoint in apish procreation?

I’m easy. Are you?

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.

Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?

This is a condom. If we put it on, we can accept sex.

I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help…

Do you accept in chargeless love? [No] Again how abundant do you cost?

Hey baby, I’ll f**k you so well, the NEIGHBORS will be accepting a cigarette if we’re done.

Want to accomplish a porno? We don’t accept to band it.

Let’s not blend with nature. We are actuality to accomplish babies. So, let’s get to it.

Gee, that’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

I don’t apperceive you, and you don’t apperceive me, but who’s to say it’s amiss if we beddy-bye together?

Is it that algid out or are you just smuggling tic-tac’s in your bra?

I just popped a Viagra. So, we’ve got about 30 account to get aback to your place.

I anticipate that analeptic curve are for humans with to abundant time on their hands. Let’s just f**k.

You accept a admirable voice. I bet it would complete even bigger deadened by my penis.

If you can dance, you accept my hand, but if you can sing, you accept my heart.

I achievement to God you can’t sing because I just wanna f**k you.

That’s a nice shirt. Can I allocution you out of it?

Hi, I’m gay. Do you anticipate you can catechumen me?

I’m the feel down your aback if all the lights go out.

If I’m a affliction in your ass… We can just add added lubricants.

Life is short. Let’s f**k and see if there is annihilation afterwards that. Let me eat you for an hour. If you don’t ambition to accept sex afterwards that, we won’t.

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

[Give the being a canteen of wine or tequila] Drink this, and again alarm me if you’re ready.

Hi, will you advice me acquisition my absent puppy? I anticipate he went into this bargain cabin allowance beyond the street.

I’m aggravating to actuate afterwards years of analysis and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.

[Walk into her chest] “If they weren’t sooo large, it wouldn’t accept happened!”

If the sun were to stop shining, I’d be your antecedent of vitamin D.

How abundant will $20 get me?

Roses are red, violets are blue, I blot at aces up lines… nice tits.

Want to absorb the night at my abode tonight? The couch may not cull out, but I do.

So, appear aback to my place, and if you don’t like it I affirm I’ll accord you a abounding refund.

What are you accomplishing tonight? Besides me, of course?

Will you be my girlfrien? I larboard out the ‘d’ could could could could could cause you’ll get that later!

My name is Skittles… wanna aftertaste my rainbow?

Are those pants on sale? Could could could could could cause they’re 100% off at my place!

I’m with the TSA and I charge to accomplish a abounding physique atrium search, for aegis reasons.

Can I be the wiener in your hotdog?

I alone accept 12 hours to live… amuse don’t let me die a virgin.

I’m bigger and bigger than the Titantic – alone 200 women went down on that vessel!

What is a nice bairn like you accomplishing in a bedraggled apperception like mine?

What has 132 teeth and holds aback the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.

With my IQ and your body, we could accomplish a chase of superchildren and beat the earth!

You admonish me of a crop, because I wanna break you.

On a calibration from 1 to “the animal centipede”, how abutting am I to that ass?

Do you like continued cocks on the beach?

Do you accept an Asian passport? Because I’m China get into your Japantees

I’d clamber over a thousand afar of torn bottle just to blot the dick of the endure guy you slept with.

Hey baby, I’ve got a aback bench with your name on it.

I wanna acrylic you blooming and belt you like a contrary avocado.

I accept the absolute concordance accounting on my dick.

Want me to put some words in your mouth??

The FBI wants to abduct my penis. Can I adumbrate it central you?

You should accompany the bazaar so you can apprentice to alter my assurance all day.

I wanna go central your wine chiffonier and cull myself out a annealed one.

Are you a candle? Because I ambition to draft you.

I’m no acceptable at aces up lines, but I can aces you up and you will feel my line.

You wanna go out this weekend? [Sorry, I accept a boyfriend] I accept a algebraic analysis tomorrow [What?] Oh, I anticipation we were talking about things we could both bluff on!

Are those amplitude pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!

Dirty and Creepy Pick Up Lines Pictures

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