One Liner

50+ Funny One Liner Jokes Only Business Experts Will Get

Business Jokes

Business jokes and budgetary silliness, talking about bookkeeping, cash, stocks, speculators, and significantly more!

A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.

A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.

Business Jokes

A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.

A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.

A bird in the hand is dead.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.

Business Jokes

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.


A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. – Milton Berle

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.

A conclusion is a place where you got tired of thinking.

A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. – Abba Eban

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

business jokes

A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.

A coup that is known in advance is a coup that does not take place.

A couple of months in the lab can often save a couple of hours in the library.

A crisis is when you cannot say “let’s just forget the whole thing.”

 A day without sunshine is like night.

A difficult task is its reward.

A donkey is a horse designed by a study team.

A fail-safe circuit will destroy others.

An airborne particle will seek the nearest eye.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

A fool and his money stabilize the economy.

A free agent is anything but.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

A geophysicist is not drunk as long as he can hang onto a single blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.


A good scapegoat is hard to find.

A good slogan can stop analysis for fifty years.

A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.

A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.

A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.

A little humility is an arrogance.

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

A little ignorance can go a long way.

A man of quality does not fear a woman seeking equality.

A man should be greater than some of his parts.


A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.

A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to put in his mouth.

A penny saved has not been spent.

A penny saved is an economic breakthrough.

A penny saved is ridiculous.

A problem cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created it. (In other words, if you screw it up, you can’t fix it.)

A real person has two reasons for doing anything…a good reason and the real reason.

A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

A short line outside a building becomes a long line inside.


A stagnant science is at a standstill.

A theory is better than its explanation.

A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.

A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.

Ability is a good thing, but stability is even better.

Ability is like a check; it has no value unless it is cashed.

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date.) – Stafford Beer

According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist.

According to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.

Adding manpower to a late software product makes it later.