Business jokes and budgetary silliness, talking about bookkeeping, cash, stocks, speculators, and significantly more!
A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.
A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.
A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.
A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.
A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.
A bird in the hand is dead.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.
A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. – Milton Berle
A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.
A conclusion is a place where you got tired of thinking.
A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. – Abba Eban
A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.
A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk. – Franklin D. Roosevelt
A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.
A coup that is known in advance is a coup that does not take place.
A couple of months in the lab can often save a couple of hours in the library.
A crisis is when you cannot say “let’s just forget the whole thing.”
A day without sunshine is like night.
A difficult task is its reward.
A donkey is a horse designed by a study team.
A fail-safe circuit will destroy others.
An airborne particle will seek the nearest eye.
A fool and his money are soon elected.
A fool and his money stabilize the economy.
A free agent is anything but.
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
A geophysicist is not drunk as long as he can hang onto a single blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.
A good scapegoat is hard to find.
A good slogan can stop analysis for fifty years.
A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.
A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.
A little humility is an arrogance.
A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.
A little ignorance can go a long way.
A man of quality does not fear a woman seeking equality.
A man should be greater than some of his parts.
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.
A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.
A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to put in his mouth.
A penny saved has not been spent.
A penny saved is an economic breakthrough.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A problem cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created it. (In other words, if you screw it up, you can’t fix it.)
A real person has two reasons for doing anything…a good reason and the real reason.
A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.
A short line outside a building becomes a long line inside.
A stagnant science is at a standstill.
A theory is better than its explanation.
A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
Ability is a good thing, but stability is even better.
Ability is like a check; it has no value unless it is cashed.
Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date.) – Stafford Beer
According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist.
According to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
Adding manpower to a late software product makes it later.