35 Vegan Jokes That Will Make Your Vegetarian Friend Chuckle

funny vegan sayings

Q: Why did the tofu cross the street?

A: To demonstrate he wasn’t chicken.

Q: What did one vegetarian say to the next vegetarian?

A: We need to quit meating like this.

Q: Why do individuals execute creatures?

A: Fur comfort steak.

Q: Did you catch wind of the veggie lover fiend admirer?

A: He sold his spirit to seitan!

Q: what number vegetarians does it take to fasten a light?

An: I don’t have the foggiest idea, however, where do you get your protein!?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street?

A: Because Colonel Sanders was pursuing him.

Q: Why did the vegetarian cross the street?

A: Because she was dissenting for the chicken, MAN!

Q: What do you call a veggie lover fellow who likes to delight himself?

An: A non-dairy half and half

Q: What do you call a moronic omnivore?

An: A meathead!

Q: What do you call a vegetarian post-punk band?

A: Soy Division.

Q: What do you call a rightist veggie lover?

A: Lactose narrow-minded.

Q: What is the Native American word for vegetarian?

A: Poor seeker!

Q: What does a veggie lover zombie eat?


Q: Why do vegetarians give great head?

A: Because they are accustomed to eating nuts.

Q: Why are all lesbians vegetarian?

A: Because they don’t eat meat.

Q: Did you catch wind of the veggie lover Zombie?

A: He went to the crazy Haven and just ate the vegetables!

Q: What do you call a Vegetarian with the looseness of the bowels?

An: A Salad Shooter

Q: Why does the vegetarian never get any play?

A: Because he has truly awful gas.

Q: Why did the tomato become flushed?

A: Because he saw the plate of mixed greens, dressing.

Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?

An: Are you stalking me?

Q: How would you know whether somebody is Vegan?

A: Don’t stress, they’ll let you know inside the initial 2 minutes of meeting them.

Q: What do Tofu And Dildos Have In Common?

A: They’re Both Meat Substitutes!

Q: Why are veggie lovers unfavorable to the earth?

A: Because they deliver large measures of methane.

Q: what number carnivores does it take to change a light?

A: None. They like to stay oblivious!

Q: What’s an ideal approach to keep drain new?

A: Leave it in the cow!

Q: What does a barbarian do after he eats a vegetable?

A: He discards the wheelchair!

Q: What are carnivores most loved guard sticker?

An: “I adore creatures. They taste so great.”

Genuine Story: I was at a wedding as of late, and as common leaving behind the meat, and requesting more potatoes, when I got the inescapable: “along these lines, where do you get your protein…?” to which my date declared to the whole table without so much as a second thought, “she swallows!” I was not grilled about my vegetarianism from that minute forward!

What do you call a vegan fellow who likes to joy himself?

A non-dairy half and half.

A youthful vegan couple chose to flavor up their life so they purchased “The Joy of Sex.” A companion later inquired as to whether the book had made a difference. Nauseated, the woman answered, “We didn’t realize what we were getting into. That book conflicts with all that we trust.” The companion, somewhat astounded, inquired as to whether they were against free sexual expression. “No,” said the man, “however you wouldn’t accept what they need us to put in our mouths!”

There was a vegan and her significant other needed head. She said that she didn’t eat weiners. [Unless her better half was vegan too….]

Why do vegans give great head?

Since they are accustomed to eating nuts.

I might be vegan yet despite everything I eat pussy.

Why are all lesbians vegetarian?

Since they don’t eat meat.

A lady’s vegetable patio nursery is developing like frantic, yet the darn tomatoes won’t age. There’s a point of confinement to the quantity of employments for green tomatoes and she’s getting quite tired of it.

So she strolls over to her neighbor’s and asks, “Your tomatoes are constantly red, while mine are constantly green. How would you do it?”

Her neighbor says, “Well, this may sound ludicrous, however this is what you do. After dull, go out into your patio nursery and remove all your garments. At the point when the tomatoes see you they’ll get humiliated and redden. Tomorrow they’ll all be red, you’ll see.”

Indeed, what the hell, she figures. So she does it.

The following day her neighbor asks her how it went.

“So-so,” she said, “The tomatoes are still green, however the cucumbers are every one of the 4 crawls longer.”

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