Funny

Shower Jokes

Shower Jokes

We have sincerely the quality shower jokes – , the mind blowing mind that simply hit you in the bathe! Very funny!

Cool Shower Jokes

  • What happened to the tiger who took a bath threetimes a day ?
    After a week he was spotless !
  • Are you going to take a bath?
    No, I’m
    leaving it where it is.
  • My mother says I look just like an
    animal
    when I’m in the bath – a little bear.
  • Mum, does God use the
    bathroom?
    No, what
    a funny question!
    Then why did Dad say this morning, ‘Oh, God, are
    you still in
    there?’
  • Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big
    Boss to steal a van
    load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One
    stayed in the van as look
    out and the other went into the storeroom.
    Fifteen minutes went by,
    then half an hour, then an hour, and no
    sign of him. The look out finally
    grew impatient and went to look for
    his partner. Inside the store the
    two came face to face. “Where
    have you been?” demanded the worried
    look out. “The boss told me to
    take a bath, but I couldn’t find the soap
    and a towel.”
  • What’s the difference between a peeping Tom andsomeone who’s just got out of the bath?
    One is rude and nosey.
    The other is nude and rosey!
  • Stan: I won 92
    goldfish.
    Fred: Where are
    you going to keep them ?
    Stan: In the bathroom
    Fred: But what will
    you do when you want to take a bath ?
    Stan: Blindfold them !
  • May: What position does your brother play inthe school football team ?
    Jay: I think he’s one of the drawbacks
    !
  • Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot
    water last night
    !
    Ed: You were? What did you do ?
    Ned: I took a bath !
  • A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone

    National Park. ‘Can you give me a room and bath?’ he asked the
    clerk.
    ‘I can give you a room,’ the clerk said. ‘But you’ll have to take

    the bath by yourself!’

  • What kind of bath can you take without
    water?
    A sun bath.
  • When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath, what
    is
    still dirty?
    The bathtub.
  • Where does a vampire take a bath?
    In the
    bat-room (bathroom).
  • What criminal doesn’t take baths?
    A dirty
    crook.
  • Why did the robber take a bath?
    So he could
    make a clean getaway.
  • What do you call the ring that worms leave roundthe bath ?
    The scum of the earth !
  • What dog loves to take bubble baths ?
    A
    shampoodle !
  • How do vampire football players get the mud off?They all get in the bat-tub.
  • Which villains steal soap from the bath?
    Robber
    ducks.
  • Boy: Dad, dad, there’s a spider in the bath.Dad: What’s wrong with that? You’ve seen spiders before.
    Boy: Yes,
    but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot
    water!
  • Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your
    bath, Mrs Soap?
    Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I’d drunk the
    bath there wasn’t
    room for medicine.
  • The plumber was working in a house when the lady ofthe house said to him, “Will it be alright if I have a bath whileyou’re having your lunch?”
    “It’s okay with me lady,” said the
    plumber, “as long as you don’t
    splash my sandwiches.”
  • Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after abath.
    Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.
  • Dr Frankenstein:
    I’ve just invented
    something that everyone in the world will want! You
    know how you get a
    nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it,
    and you have to
    clean the ring off?
    Igor: Yes, I hate it.
    Dr Frankenstein: Well,
    you need never have a bathtub ring again! I’ve
    invented the square
    tub . . .
  • Did you hear about the idiot who had a
    new
    bath put in?
    The plumber said, “Would you like a plug for it?”The idiot replied, “Oh, I didn’t know it was electric.”
  • Mom: Joe, time for your medicine.
    Joe: I’ll
    run the bath then.
    Mom: Why?
    Joe: Because on the bottle it says
    “to be taken in water.”
  • Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I
    suggest you take a cold
    bath every morning.Patient: Oh,
    but I do, doctor.Doctor: You do?

    Patient: Yes, every
    morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with
    nice hot water!

  • Doctor: The best time to take a bath is beforeretiring.
    Patient: You mean I don’t need another bath until I’msixty-five?
  • Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower all day?
    A: Lend her your bottle of Shampoo that says “lather, rinse, repeat”.
  • Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
  • Walk into bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
  • If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
  • Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Make mental note…Must do more sit-ups.
  • Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
  • Wash your hair with Cucumber Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
  • Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner, enhanced with natural avocado oil.
  • Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes, until red.
  • Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
  • Rinse conditioner off hair. You must make sure that it has all come off.
  • Consider shaving bikini area, but decide to get it waxed instead.
  • Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
  • Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
  • If you see your husband along the way, cover any exposed areas, then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.