Dirty

Vagina Jokes

Vagina Jokes

The hottest collection of Vagina Jokes  you could ever find on the internet. Feel free to share some jokes about vagina with your friends.

Vagina Dirty Jokes 


Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit? A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.

Q: Why is a vagina just like the weather? A: When it’s wet, it’s time to go inside

Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

Q: Why do women have vaginas? A: So that men will speak to them!

Q: What does a blonde and a tampon have in common? A: They are both stuck up cunts!

Q: What do homosexuals and mice have in common? A: They both hate pussy!

Q: What did the penis say to the vagina? A: Don’t make me cum in there.

Q: What’s the difference between balls and a pussy? A: the harder the pussy, the more balls you need.

Q: Why is a woman’s pussy like a public restroom? A: They both feel good, but you wonder who has been there before you!

Q: What do you call a policewoman who shaves her pubes? A: Cuntstubble.

Q: What do you call the space between the vagina and the arsehole? A: The chinrest!

Q: Why do blondes wear tampons? A: Because crabs like bungee jumping too!

Q: What do you call the useless flesh that surrounds a vagina? A: The woman! What do you call the space between the twat and the shitter? Twitter

Q: What do you call a Spanish chick with no legs? A: cuntswaylow

Q: What’s the the definition of a vagina? A: The box a penis cums in.

Q: What do you call the movie about Lara Croft’s abortion? A: Womb Raider

Q: What do you call a Roman soldier with a smile on his face and a piece of hair between his two front teeth? A: A GLAD-HE-ATE-HER

Q: What do pimps and dogs have in common? A: They both ate pussy

Q: What’s the definition of a tongue-twister? A: A spiral pussy!

Q: What’s the difference between eating pussy and driving in a snowstorm? A: When you eat pussy, you can always see the arsehole in front of you!

Q: What do you get if you stuff your hand up a gypsy’s cunt when she is on her period? A: Your palm Red!

Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde’s pussy? A: The other guys waiting their turn! Girl “I wear heels bigger than your dick!” Guy: “I take shits fresher than your pussy.”

Q: How do you know if you have an overbite? A: If your eating pussy and it tastes like shit!

Q: What’s the difference between parsley and pussy? A: Nobody eats parsley.

Vagina One Liners

Why do people say “Grow some balls” balls are so weak & sensitive you ought to say “Grow a vagina” those things really take a pounding.

Sex is like Mcdonald’s; I’m lovin it. Vagina is like subway; eat fresh. Dick is like gatorade; is it in you?

I’m not saying she’s a slut, but her vagina should be in the NFL Hall of Fame for greatest wide-receiver.

Girl: My favorite number is 16 Boy: why? Girl: because you get 8 (ate) twice!

Guy: hey want to hear a joke about my dick never mind it’s too long Girl: wanna here a joke a bout my vagina never mind you’ll never get it Guy: wanna here another joke about your pussy never mind it stinks!

I’m not saying she’s a slut, I’m just surprised that Foursquare has not made her vagina a place to “check in” yet

If a vagina really did taste like chicken I’m guessing black dudes would probably be WAY more into eating it.

The bacteria found in yogurt is the same one found in a vagina.

Next time you feel the need too call a women a cunt ,,don’t ,instead call her ankles, that is 2 Feet Lower than a cunt.

Your vagina should be called Jasmine, because it’s always got Aladdin

I’m not saying you’re a slut, I’m just saying if your vagina had a password, it would be 1234.

I use air quotations when I say the word “vagina” because I’ve never actually seen one.

A “busy beaver” sounds like a derogatory term for a sexually promiscuous woman

No Period Jokes either. Women might ovary act.

No Vagina Jokes. Those aren’t funny. PERIOD.

I’m confused… How come your instagram is private when your vagina is public?

You know how when someone asks you for some of your food, like a cookie or something, and you lick it they usually say “Never mind..”? Well, does that go for pussy as well?

Hoe, I’d kick you in yo vagina but I don’t wanna lose my shoe.

Cheating is not an accident. Falling off a bike is an accident… You don’t just trip and fall into a vagina.

I’m not saying she’s a slut, but if her vagina was a video game it would be rated E for Everyone.

Do you have pet insurance? No?….Cause I’m gonna destroy your pussy!

Ashes to ashes dust to dust your pussy full of rust

A man steps into an elevator with a woman. He says, can I smell your pussy? Woman says, no way! He says, hmm must be your feet then.

A vagina is like the weather. Once its wet, it’s time to go inside

They call your vagina ‘Denny’s’ because it’s always open, there’s always creeps there late at night, and seniors eat free on Tuesday.

I’m not saying she’s a slut, but her vagina should be in the NFL Hall of Fame for greatest wide-receiver.

Sex is like Mcdonald’s; I’m lovin it. Vagina is like subway; eat fresh. Dick is like gatorade; is it in you?

Moral Of The Story

There was a cat by the lake and a sausage came floating by the cat put its paw in and wet its paw. Then a few minutes later a bigger sausage came floating by and the cat fell in. The moral of this story the bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy.

Farm

One day on the farm, a little boy kicks a cow. His mama says if you kick the cow you get no milk. The next day the boy kicks the pig. His mama says if you kick the pig you get crappy bacon. The day after he kicks the chicken. His mama says if you kick the chicken you get no eggs. His daddy walks through the door and kicks the cat. The little boy says to his mama: should I tell him or do you want to?

Young Girl

A suspicious young girl was growing up and finally reached the age when “she bled below.” She knew such a thing would eventually occur but was still unsure as to how to respond. After trying both pads and a tampon, she finally made up her mind to use pads; because there were no strings attached!

Four Nerds

Four nerds were sitting down in a room talking about women. One nerd says to the other “Hey, do you know what a clitoris is?” the other replied, “nope, never heard of that Pokemon”…..

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