Old Age Jokes

Old Age Jokes Dirty

A great collection of Old Age Jokes you could ever find on the internet. Feel free to share these jokes about old age with your friends and family.

Funny Old Age Jokes Dirty


I was at a money machine when an old woman came up to me and requested that check her adjust.

So I pushed her over.


You know you’re getting old when:

I was watching Babe Station. There was this lovely young lady in a meager little French cleaning specialist’s outfit, pushing a vac around, twisting over provocatively. What’s more, as her little skirt rode up, uncovering her flawless minimal base with the little piece of dark material covering her split, whatever I could believe was:

“We used to have a Hoover like that one.”


We call our grandad “Spiderman.”

He hasn’t got any super powers – he just thinks that its hard to escape from the shower.


My wife simply saw a news article ‘World’s oldest individual bites the dust at 114.’

“Stunning!” she said “…the way drug and science are going, I wager we have individuals coming to 150 years of age inside of the following ten years!”

Inept bitch.


A kid asks his granny, “Have you seen my pills, they were named ‘LSD’?”

His granny answers, “Fuck the pills, have you seen the mythical beast in the kitchen?!”


I took a stab at robbing an old matured retired person yesterday.

I said, “Give me all your cash now, bitch, or you’re topography.”

“Don’t you mean history?” she answered.

I said, “Don’t attempt to change the subject.”

We are dependably told we ought to take care of and watch our old neighbors.

Why the fuck would it be advisable for us to? My 87-year-old neighbor is such a lethargic bitch; she hasn’t even taken her daily papers in for two weeks.


I used to abhor weddings. All the old dears would jab me and say, “you’re next.”

They soon halted when I began saying the same to them at funerals.


An old lady halted me in the road and requesting that I demonstrate to her accepted methods to get to the healing center.

So I pushed her under transport.


I made a go at shopping prior today, and when I got to the checkout, my trolley was flooding with stuff falling on the floor. Remained behind me was a bit old woman with only a tin of peas and a couple of wieners in her bushel.

I said, “Is that all you’ve got, love?”

Her little face lit up and said, “Yes, dear.”

I answered, “Well fuck off then, I’m gonna be ages!”


In case you’re utilizing open transport never surrender your seat to an old woman…

That is the way I lost my occupation as a transport driver.