9 Silliest Idiot Jokes about how stupid a few people can truly be and they really exist.
An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for
another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. “But I think I know where I’m going wrong,” said the idiot. “I think I am planting them too deep.”
Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked
down their ladder. “I have an idea,” said Mike. “We’ll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder.”
“What, do you think I’m stupid? I have an idea. I’ll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light.”
“What, do you think I’m stupid? You’ll just turn off the flashlight when I’m halfway there.”
Two men were digging a ditch on a sweltering day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole
digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?”
“I don’t know,” responded the other. “I’ll ask him.”
So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. “Why are we digging in the hot sun and you’re standing in the shade?” “Intelligence,” The boss said.
“What do you mean, intelligence’?”
The boss said, “Well, I’ll show you. I’ll put my hand on this tree, and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can.”
The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss’ hand. The boss removed his hand, and the ditch digger hit the tree.
The boss said, “That’s intelligence!”
The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, “What did he say?”
“He said we are down here because of intelligence.”
“What’s intelligence?” said the friend.
The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, “Take your shovel and hit my hand.”
I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it cause it was prettier than
The clerk said, “It’s made in Germany.”
I said, “It’s a shame, I can’t use it then.”
The clerk said, “What’s the matter? You don’t like German pens?”
I said, “No. I just never learned to write German.”
Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store to buy a chainsaw?
He said I want one that will cut down at least ten trees a day.
He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple of days later complaining that it only cut one tree and that took all day.
The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what the problem was.
The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?
She’s so stupid she thinks a shoplifter is a powerful person who goes round picking up shops.
Fred: Do you think I’m a fool?
Harry: No. But what’s my opinion against thousands of others?
Did you hear about the fool who keeps going around saying “no”?
Oh, so it’s you!
A man went into a pet shop to buy a parrot. He was shown an especially fine one which he liked the look of, but he was puzzled by the two strings which were tied to its feet. “What are they for?” he asked the pet shop manager.
“Ah well, sir,” came the reply,”that’s a very unusual feature of this particular parrot. You see, he’s a trained parrot, sir, he used to be in the circus. If you pull the string on his left foot, he says ‘Hello’ and if you pull the string on his left foot he says ‘Goodbye.'”
“And what happens if you pull both strings at once?”
“I fall off my perch, you fool!” screeched the parrot.
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