Dirty Santa Jokes

Dirty Santa Jokes

Dirty Santa Jokes for Adults

Santa’s Lap

I Know Its Not Christmas, but Santa’s Lap Is Always Ready.

Santa have any children

Why doesn’t Santa have any children?
He only comes one a year, and that’s down the chimney.

I Asked Santa

Last Year I Asked Santa for the Sexiest Person Ever for Christmas…I Woke up in a Box.

How Do You Know Santa Claus

How Do You Know Santa Claus Has to Be a Man?

No Woman Is Going to Wear the Same Outfit Year After Year!

I Never Believed

I Never Believed in Santa Claus Because I Knew No White Dude Would Come into My Neighborhood After Dark.

During Christmas Eve

Closets Also Had a Lot of Fun During Christmas Eve Celebration Instead of Boring Asses They Saw a Lot of New Faces.

Mustaches for Christmas

I Always Get My Loved Ones Petrol Soaked Fake Mustaches for Christmas.

It’s Such a Joy to Watch Their Faces Light Up!

Santa and Boy

Santa: “What Do You Want for Christmas, Young Man?”

Boy: “Well, There’s a Certain Thing I’d Really Like.”

Santa: “What Thing Is That?” Boy: “Everything!”

On the First Xmas

On the First Xmas, the First of Three Wise Men Stepped Carefully into the Stable but Sank His Golden Slipper into a Big Pile of Manure.”Jesus Christ!”

He Yelled.the Woman Beside the Manger Turned to Her Husband and Said, “Now, Joseph, Isn’t That a Better Name for the Kid than Irving?

Here a Fucking Christmas Card

Moneys Short,Times Are Hard

Here a Fucking Christmas Card

It Was the Night Before Christmas

and All Through the House Everybody Felt Shitty Even the Mouse!!!


Santa Jokes Adults One Liner

  • Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
  • There’s nothing like the joy on a kid’s face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas.
  • What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic
  • I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace” So I bought her nothing.
  • One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”
  • I wasn’t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones.
  • What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.
  • If your left leg was thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit you between the holidays?
  • What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas? My bike.
  • Why can’t the Christmas tree stand up? It doesn’t have legs.
  • I am one bottle of shower gel away from being able to open my own Christmas gift shop in my shower.
  • How about a month filled with stress and obligation? – Pitch for December
  • The main thing I want this holiday season is for someone to wake me when it’s over.
  • What’s black and white and red all over? Santa covered with chimney soot.